Even more humour from my email archives

Harvard Reading Test

This was developed as an age test by an R&D department Harvard University.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person over 40 years of age can’t do it!

1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is an cat
7. This is old cat
8. This is person cat
9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat
11. This is forty cat
12. This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and then I bet you can’t resist passing it on.

One of the earliest IT help desks



On the door of a local church


Here we practice the inclusive Gospel of Jesus Christ.

This means you may be mixing with tax collectors, sinners, adulterers, hypocrites, Greeks, Jews, women as well as men, female and male priests, homosexuals, lesbians, the disabled, dying, thieves and other sinners; white people, black people, Asians, and people from other races; Muslims, Bishops, bigots, people of other faiths, strangers from Rome and Nigeria, heretics, etc., ets.; and yes even you, dear guest, are most welcome. In fact, anyone like those Jesus mixed with. So beware, this is not a private club. Welcome to all!


A major research institution has recently announced
the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet
known to science. The new element has been tentatively
named "IBMentium". IBMentium has 1 neutron, 12
assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces
called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities
of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
IBMentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected as it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
IBMentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a

IBMentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does
not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in
which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons exchange places. In fact, IBMentium’s mass
will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause some morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that IBMentium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it.


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