I’d like this joke a lot more if I had a different last line, but beggars can’t be choosers.
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his computer and can’t find him, possibly because the system was in the middle of a data conversion.
“Check again, Peter, it’s obvious the system’s got a glitch.”
“Nope, sorry. No record, no entry. Next!”
So, the engineer heads downstairs. The gatekeeper is a little surprised to see him, but lets him in nonetheless.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. Even Satan takes notice.
After a while, they’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
A few weeks later, the auditors catch the problem. God is furious that an engineer got away. So, he calls Satan up on the telephone. He can see on the vidphone that Satan is in the pool drinking margueritas on ice. “So, how’s it going down there in Hell?” he asks.
“Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
“Yeah, well, that was a mistake. You never should have gotten him.”
“Possession is 9/10 of the law.”
“Look, you know as well as I do that the contract says I get all the engineers.”
God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”