Twelve Days of Christmas

Yes, it took three months for the scrap of paper to surface again. Not too bad, really, considering the age of some of the papers in the big box.

For posterity:

12 dire rats
11 litches leaping
10 iron golems
9 necromancers
8 hydras hiding
7 giant scorpions
6 eyes a’floating

5 golden dragons
4 raging orcs
3 cursed swords
2 partial maps
And a single healing potion.

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To Hang Two Pictures

Sit patiently while Mom goes through her routine. Every time we visit, she has a dozen or so treasures she wants me to see. It’s a long, slow, steady process of purging her stuff. This time two pictures Dad brought back from Korea and which lived on my childhood bedroom walls were in the pile.

Let the pictures age on the dining room table from December holiday until late September, all the while hoping they don’t get broken.

Realize hammer is upstairs, and there are nails left over from the new office shelf.

Measure very roughly, put in first nail, hang first picture, be happy with it. Realize I need the level to get the second nail directly under the first.

See (or rather not see) that light in tool room is out.

Go all the way upstairs (5 flights — it’s a split-level) to bathroom for flashlight. Reverse trip with flashlight in hand. Realize flashlight battery needs changing. Big, old, C or D size batteries, incandescent bulb.

Get level. Back to middle floor. Take off first picture. Draw vertical line, hold picture by wire — you know the drill. Got it good enough first try.

Now to deal with the flashlight and burnt-out bulb.

And we wonder why the simple stuff never gets done.

Thank You for the Liver — Part 6

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for the liver. I put it where my Mom would step on it. We all got lots of exercise.

Your Grandson

Thank You for the Liver — Part 5

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for the liver.

You were right. When my sister ate some, her expression was great. She spit it out real fast.

Your Grandson

Thank You for the Liver — Part 4

Did I say there were only going to be three parts?

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for the liver. I like it almost as much as steak.

Your Grandson.

Thank You for the Liver — Part 3

Third of a three-part series.

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for the liver. I took it to school and we had a great food-fight.

Your Grandson.

Thank You for the Liver — Part 1

First in a three part series on thank you notes.

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for the liver. It was nice.

Your Grandson.

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